Greetings again, oh ye masses of lucky employers who have a chance to hire me!
I just wanted to let you know that I've been turning down some other offers (such as being Vice President under Barack Obama and (harrumph) Hillary Clinton's damn secretary) just so I'd still be available to go to work for you: saving the environment, tending to people's nutrition in a food-coop, or putting makeup on the clients who make temporary visits to a mortician's office. Hey, don't thank me, it's just my civic duty to spend my time in the most productive possible career.
Hey, here's a cool idea - you can start sending me a nice big weekly paycheck now, even before I'm hired, so we'll have all of that pesky paperwork out of the way and I can "hit the ground running" on my very first day of work! Great idea, no?! You can even throw in a Christmas bonus for the first couple years, so we can get all that bureaucratic crap out of the way now too! Am I a freakin' genius, or what?!
Okay, all you corporate clowns, what are you waiting for? Call me already!!
Employably Yours,
Aly of Work
Friday, January 26, 2007
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Some Job Details
Hello Again, All You Employers!
Here's a list of the kinds of jobs I am considering, and some comments...
1. Food, grocery, art cooperatives [I won't eat too many of the profits, or be too uncooperative]
2. Animal conservation site [And I especially don't eat animals!]
3. Wilderness (camp counselor) [I'll be fine, as long as I have a good map and a GPS]
4. Mortician's assistant [I just love working with people!]
5. Alternative energy [Hey, I'm a regular human dynamo!]
6. Non-profit [As long as you make enough money to pay me with, of course!]
7. farm/greenhouse [Actually, I'll take a house of pretty much any color, since I am also a good painter.]
8. Real estate agent [Okay, okay, it doesn't have to involve real estate, since I would be happy to settle for an imaginary estate.]
9. Waldorf school teacher [This could be imaginary too. In fact, that's why I always climb mountains only in my mind... because they aren't there!]
10. University/Museum aide [You name it, and I can do it! Sheesh, is it my fault if you haven't named it yet?!?!
11. Astrological Consultant [Actually, this wasn't on any list I created myself, but my ghost-writer [BOO!] Frank threw this one in, just so the list would contain a nice even eleven items.]
Okay, all you big-buck employers, I hope the above gives you all enough info to get off of your lazy asses and start writing some nice, big, juicy paychecks with my name on them! And, let's do it pretty soon, so I can pay Frank some nice hefty commissions for having created these Blogs for me!
Sincerely,
Your Humble Future Employee,
Alyson
Here's a list of the kinds of jobs I am considering, and some comments...
1. Food, grocery, art cooperatives [I won't eat too many of the profits, or be too uncooperative]
2. Animal conservation site [And I especially don't eat animals!]
3. Wilderness (camp counselor) [I'll be fine, as long as I have a good map and a GPS]
4. Mortician's assistant [I just love working with people!]
5. Alternative energy [Hey, I'm a regular human dynamo!]
6. Non-profit [As long as you make enough money to pay me with, of course!]
7. farm/greenhouse [Actually, I'll take a house of pretty much any color, since I am also a good painter.]
8. Real estate agent [Okay, okay, it doesn't have to involve real estate, since I would be happy to settle for an imaginary estate.]
9. Waldorf school teacher [This could be imaginary too. In fact, that's why I always climb mountains only in my mind... because they aren't there!]
10. University/Museum aide [You name it, and I can do it! Sheesh, is it my fault if you haven't named it yet?!?!
11. Astrological Consultant [Actually, this wasn't on any list I created myself, but my ghost-writer [BOO!] Frank threw this one in, just so the list would contain a nice even eleven items.]
Okay, all you big-buck employers, I hope the above gives you all enough info to get off of your lazy asses and start writing some nice, big, juicy paychecks with my name on them! And, let's do it pretty soon, so I can pay Frank some nice hefty commissions for having created these Blogs for me!
Sincerely,
Your Humble Future Employee,
Alyson
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Aly For Hire!
Well, Hello there, all you potential employers!
This is my first post of my "Career" page, from which I shall tell the world of all the cool and wonderful things I can do, and the kinds of career opportunities I am seeking. I will keep this post short for now, and will supply more details in the coming days. But start getting your payroll-checkbooks are warmed up from right now, because one of you lucky dudes or dudettes will be writing me some majorly hefty paychecks very soon!
Entrepreneuristically Yours,
Aly
- World Saver and Money Maker
This is my first post of my "Career" page, from which I shall tell the world of all the cool and wonderful things I can do, and the kinds of career opportunities I am seeking. I will keep this post short for now, and will supply more details in the coming days. But start getting your payroll-checkbooks are warmed up from right now, because one of you lucky dudes or dudettes will be writing me some majorly hefty paychecks very soon!
Entrepreneuristically Yours,
Aly
- World Saver and Money Maker
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